


Small Talk with Tommy

by Monsters_and_Matsu



Series: HLVRAI but Emotionally Damaged [2]
Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, HLVRAI, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsters_and_Matsu/pseuds/Monsters_and_Matsu
Summary: Tommy comes over for his usual game night, but something is bothering Benry. So they talk about life after Black Mesa.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: HLVRAI but Emotionally Damaged [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869784
Comments: 4
Kudos: 118





	Small Talk with Tommy

**Author's Note:**

> Probably same world as "Letter to Gordon"

It was Saturday. Benry and Tommy met up for a game night. Playstation Heavenly Sword. Classic. Local multiplayer.

Benry opened the door with a big shitty smile and half lidded eyes, “Tommmmmmy!”

“I have two cases of soda this time!” Tommy grinned big, carrying two long boxes under each arm. “We’re going to try Grape Fanta and Pibb xtra!”

“Cool, yeah that’ll help us with the games. We’ll uh, it’ll keep us hydrated so we don’t miss out on the matches.” Benry waved him into his little one room studio.

The sofa sat in the middle of the room. A slightly outdated tv set up on a table surrounded by boxes for video games and Blu-ray movies. If you looked in his closet it would be full of mostly work uniforms and a few comfy clothes, some that looked like they weren’t worn in years. The kitchen was the same way, it had a few choice things on the counter like soda cans and a used plate or two. But if you opened the cabinets there would be food that was bought but not touched since they were put away.

They sat on the sofa, side by side they held their controllers. The night was theirs to play games together. To laugh together. Just enjoy the company of having another person to interact with you in real time. The moonlight leaking in through the window and the tv glow were the only things illuminating the room.

Match after match went by, soda after soda slurped in one sip. Time didn’t really matter to them. They weren’t tired and the work day wasn’t until Monday.

“I don’t like this grape soda, the orange flavor is better.” Tommy stated as he finished the last can of fanta. But soda was soda. It fueled him. He was the fastest button masher Benry had ever seen. Ol’ trigger finger Tommy.

“Wha.” Benry replied as he got sniped in the game. He leaned back on the couch and scratched at his messy hair. Even though he was sitting here with his friend, he still wore a default frown. He laughed every now and again but there was something still holding a presence in his mind. A troubling thought he couldn’t ignore. Even playing heavenly sword wasn’t distracting him for very long. He picked up his drink and let their characters sit in a lobby as they waited for a new match.

“Where are you working now?” Benry asked.

Tommy raised his brows and moved his hand as he talked, “Well, ever since the Black Mesa Research Facility got destroyed in the incident I had to find a different place to work. And I already read the full guidelines for the Occupational Safety and Health Administration so I applied there.” His eyes glistened even in the dull lighting. He took pride in what he did, that much as clear.

Benry let out a breath through his nose, “That’s nice...” He slumped and eyes glanced aside. “What, uh, motives you to like all that stuff you do?”

“What do you mean?” Tommy tilted his head confused, “I read everything for work and I work so I can buy stuff. Then I sleep like a hen cuddled up in its coop and the next day starts.”

Benry shrugged, “Uh, like, you know... Everything I do is boring. Like, I got Playstation Plus so I had something to do and I used to have fun. But ever since Black Mesa closed I don’t even have work to look forward to.”

The ex-security guard continued as Tommy listened, “At work I felt like I had a job to do. Like this is fun and stuff but then I have to find something else to do when nobody’s here. I’m waiting everyday for the lab to reopen and it’s gonna suck cause it won’t be the same. Everybody is dead or gone, especially stupid Feetman.”

“You mean Mr. Freeman?”

“Yeah, stupid dumb Feetsman... acts like we were never friends. We used to be best friends, but he wouldn’t even listen to me when I told him that I was just doing my job. I was trying to be nice and handle him without hurting everybody’s feelings. He had his dick out in front of my friend and he broke the rules and I was just trying to get home in time to enjoy my day and everything got ruined.” Benry crossed his arms, mumbling “It hurt my feelings man, I kept telling him shit and he wouldn’t listen to me.”

Tommy blinked, tapping his finger to his chin and thinking. “Well... Mr. Freeman came to work just like any other day and maybe he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. And the whole Resonance Cascade was a miscalculation, not even my safety guidelines talked about what to do.”

Benry started to get more angry, “Yeah, but I was TRYING to do the right thing and be nice! And no matter what I told him he just kept going on about getting home and making my job harder. It wasn’t always like this...” He held his drink and chugged it down, then crushed the can flat between his hands. “This sucks, this sucks big time.”

Tommy wasn’t sure what to say and as the quiet grew, Benry hummed his sweet voice in frustration.

“Pink to blue means my heart is in two...” Tommy had a better understanding than most people. He read all kinds of research and rules, he studied the different kinds of communication. Just like body language the sweet voice gave him some insight to how a person really felt. “Are you heartbroken, because of Mr. Freeman?”

Benry made a face, his lips stretched out in a line and his cheeks grew a little darker. “NO.” He made an inhuman sound and groaned. “Why would I like someone like Gordon? Yeah, we were best friends until he decided that he hated me. He won’t even talk to me. How are we supposed to be friends again if he won’t even talk to me. I tried to make things better but he still didn’t listen to me. Grrn...” He grabbed his head and pushed his hands back through his hair. “AAAAAhahah why do I even care!?”

Tommy put the controller down as Benry knocked a bunch of empty cans across the room.

Tommy replied, “Why don’t you tell Mr. Freeman how you feel and then maybe uh, maybe you’ll feel better.” He tried to smile kindly to Benry who hid behind his balled fists and grinding teeth. Behind the anger he knew there was pain, pain from a lost friend. Maybe even the pain of rejection.

“How am I supposed to talk to someone who never wants to see me again?” Benry thought about the date. It’s been around three months since Black Mesa shut down. Three months since Tommy's party. Months since he last saw Gordon, he probably was moving along with his life. He was probably realizing how much happier he was without his good old friends from the job. Even though he tried to be nothing but nice to Freeman, he couldn’t stop himself from getting angry. He made a mistake, and another best friend was gone. It sucked. Being in pain sucked.

“Umm, I don’t know.” Tommy fiddled his fingers, “Maybe I can get in touch with him. My dad seemed to know how to find him last time.”

Benry scoffed, “Yeah, but Feetmen doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get what’s important to me. He goes ‘bleeeh blah what does this have to do with anything’ and whatever I say isn’t good enough for him. I tried to be nice and nothing worked.”

Tommy sat with him. He looked over and dug around for two more cans of soda before offering Benry one, “I guess both people have to be able to listen to each other to be close friends. Or at least be willing to try to understand the others feelings and what makes them feel bad. I would check on Wikipedia but the servers are still down.” The 36-year-old boy gave a reassuring smile. He took every day one step at a time, he made an immortal dog because he wanted to. Tommy rode his life on book knowledge and when he couldn’t read it first, he wasn’t afraid to follow his instincts. He took pleasure in the simple things.

Benry stared off to the side for a long time before taking the can his friend offered him, “Just not the same. When Gordon was my best friend I felt something. Now everything is dull. Sucks.” He kept thinking about his days at the research facility. Everyday it had given him something to do, a small bit of purpose in his now otherwise directionless life. Bumping into the pals in the break room, checking credentials, growing more powerful off the energy of passports, it was all good old fashioned fun. Now everything was different. His feelings were still hurt and he missed his friend, but he mostly didn’t know who he was anymore.

“Sounds like Depression! Now that article I was able to read before the incident!” Tommy exclaimed.

Benry shook his soda around in a dismissing fashion, “Haaaa depression? More like I’ll be pressing these buttons to play this totally better than Xbox game-” He started tossing around to find his controller but by the time he did they had already been booted from the server a long time ago. “Oh.”

Tommy got up, looking at the collection of games. “Let’s play a racing game next!”

“Sure Tommy bud, you’re so good at racing.” Benry cracked his soda open and it exploded, but he perfectly caught all the fizzled liquid in his mouth without getting anything else wet. Gulp gulp gulp.

* * *

The night went on. The two played and drank to ungodly hours of the night, with no more drinks they crashed and started to wine-down for the day. Benry laid on the floor among all the empty cans with his limbs splayed out and Tommy curled up on the sofa arm, reading some new guidelines on his phone browser.

Benry stared at the ceiling, “It still hurts when I think of him, Tommy.”

It pained him immensely, thinking about how much he went out of the way for Freeman. He tried to be nice for his friend and anything he said or did wasn’t enough to resolve their conflict. He wasn’t a bad person, he was doing what he thought was right in the moment. He had emotions too just like Freeman and he recognized that, so he tried so hard to spare his feelings. He knew if he told him the truth that he wouldn’t understand. It would have only ruined their friendship faster. But like pulling off a bandage, it would eventually expose the wound no matter how patient he tried to be with him.

“I know.” Tommy answered, “But you’re still here and we had fun tonight.”

Benry sighed silently, He didn’t like change. He didn’t like being mean and he didn’t like feeling bad. He was just existing awkwardly. Trying to find things to do that he liked, but everything was boring. He bought games and played them for hours until they became lame. He reached out to the friends he still had but they couldn’t replace the close relationships he used to have. Best friends... What was the point of having best friends if you grew sick of each other? Why open up and trust people when you eventually got angry at each other? It hurt to give so much and then have it all cut off because you need space. They want space. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want it to hurt when thinking about how much fun Freeman was having without him. Even if he was doing something lame, it felt nice just being around your best friend.

It felt bad to have someone you care about be angry at you, never knowing what’s going through their head. What they really think of you. Never getting to say your peace.

“I hate that humans change. Stupid… It’s stupid.” Benry said to himself, a tear or two fell down his cheeks against his will. Stupid... humans making him care enough to be hurt when they leave.

He sniffled. Suddenly, Tommy put his phone down and stood, grabbing among the cans to grasp Benry by the shirt. He made him sit up causing the metal around him clank and roll around. Tommy sat beside him and pulled him into a side hug.

Benry made a face, having his friend hold him. “Uh... kinda cringe... What’s this for?”

“Instinct.” Tommy stated and pat his head.

“...” Benry shifted in his grasp, not sure what to do at first. Then he leaned his head on Tommy’s shoulder. The physical comfort and mental comfort of someone being there for him in his time of need started to click. It wasn’t the same but he guess... different was okay.

“Thanks.” Benry mumbled.

It would hurt when Tommy would have to go home to feed Sunkist, and they’d have to both continue on with their lives. But for right now Benry let himself be comforted. It wasn’t the exact thing he wanted, it wasn’t going to fix all his problems, but it’d do for now.

They sat for what felt like awhile, before Tommy dragged him onto the sofa and eventually fell asleep.


End file.
